You are annoying.
Cut it out.
Thanks,
E
Monday, May 09, 2005
Sunday, May 08, 2005
All By Myself
Mr. E is out of town, which means I am having some quality alone time. I am all about quality alone time, btw. I can do all kinds of crazy organzing projects, iron stuff that no self respecting man thinks you should iron, talk on the phone for hours, eat Ragu and fake parmesan cheese on EVERYTHING, and when I clean something, it stays clean. Although now that Princess Midnite has come along, that last one might not hold true.
So far I've organized my craft shelves, made muffins, made an awesome chicken salad, mowed the rest of the lawn, taken out the trash, swept the floors, tanned, and not taken a shower for days. Awesome.
In closing, I would like to add that The Sun Never Sets on a Legend. That's code for yes, I will be watching that crappy CBS movie on Elvis while shoveling pasta in my mouth.
So far I've organized my craft shelves, made muffins, made an awesome chicken salad, mowed the rest of the lawn, taken out the trash, swept the floors, tanned, and not taken a shower for days. Awesome.
In closing, I would like to add that The Sun Never Sets on a Legend. That's code for yes, I will be watching that crappy CBS movie on Elvis while shoveling pasta in my mouth.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Sea Quote
"I really don't know why it is that all of us are so committed to the sea, except I think it's because in addition to the fact that the sea changes, and the light changes, and ships change, it's because we all came from the sea. And it is an interesting biological fact that all of us have in our veins the exact same percentage of salt in our blood that exists in the ocean, and, therefore, we have salt in our blood, our sweat, and in our tears. We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch it, we are going back from whence we came."
President John F. Kennedy, Australian Ambassador's Dinner for the America's Cup Crews, September 14, 1962, Newport, R.I.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Say it now, while you have the chance
A while ago, I heard an episode of This American Life where the theme was things you wish you had said in the moment. One of the speakers talked about how he wished he had told his mom how amazing she was and how much he loved her before she died. It really hit home with me, and since then I've been composing a letter to my mom in my head, just so she really really knows what she means to me. It took me forever to get around to putting my thoughts on paper, but I finally did, just in time for mother's day, and I mailed this instead of a card.
Dear Mom,
This year we may have missed the first gold by a bit. I guess that’s the point, right? That it’s fleeting. But you sent me the email anyway, and it’s lucky you did. I don’t think I would know that spring is here without it. In those last few weeks of February, I am waiting for it, hoping that it’s just around the corner. When you called me up to tell that we may have missed it, you said something like "someday I’ll be dead and maybe you’ll see the first gold and think of me". And what I wanted to tell you is that while I hope that day does not arrive for a long long time, I want you to know that even right now, you are a part of me in a way that means that I think about you every day, all the time, in many moments and maybe more often than you know.
Sometimes, when I should be thinking lofty work thoughts in meetings, I look down at my hands, and see your hands, and think "I got these hands from my mother". When someone asks me how to spell something, I always know how, and I know that I got that from you. When I hear that one of my friends is in therapy because she has no self confidence and doesn’t know how to get any, I think about how I am a strong self confident woman because I had a strong self confident mother who knew no other way to raise me, and I am so proud and so grateful for that. Not everyone gets that from their moms. Not everyone gets as lucky as I did.
When I am sick or tired and I wish I had someone to push my hair back behind my ear and sing me Irish lullabies, I am wishing for the you I remember from when I was a little girl. When I have my own children, I will do the same thing for them, and I will think of you. When I tell someone I love them, it is because you taught me how. Whenever I start something for the first time, I hear your voice in the back of my head saying "Give em hell". When I laugh at something no one else thinks is funny, sometimes for days, every time I remember it, I think "this, this I got from my mother". When I need courage, I think of you, and stick my chin out a little farther and do what has to be done. Whenever I meet a new person, and my natural shyness takes over, I stick out my hand anyway, because you taught me I had no other choice. When I run, I think of running with you around the dirt track of our tennis club and I hear your voice telling me to lengthen my strides when I run downhill. For the rest of my life, whenever I smell Chanel Number Five, just for a second, I’ll remember being seven years old and running into your arms at the end of a long day of school.
There are thousands upon thousands of moments like this in my life. Every day moments where I smile or laugh or draw courage or feel a little bit sad, and they are all moments when I am reminded of you. I want you to know now, so that you know it forever, that you have been the person in my life who I have most wanted to be like, who I hold up as my example in all things, who loved me best and first. You are the most amazing woman I know. I will always think of you; it would be impossible for me not to. We have been through my whole life together. There have been times when things seemed hopeless, but you never gave up, and I was never surprised. I knew you’d always be there for me, and that nothing was going to get the better of my mom. You are my role model, my motivation, and my most loyal ally. There could never be a time when I do not think of you, when I do not love you, when I do not think "how lucky am I, to have had such a woman in my life".
Happy Mother’s Day
Dear Mom,
This year we may have missed the first gold by a bit. I guess that’s the point, right? That it’s fleeting. But you sent me the email anyway, and it’s lucky you did. I don’t think I would know that spring is here without it. In those last few weeks of February, I am waiting for it, hoping that it’s just around the corner. When you called me up to tell that we may have missed it, you said something like "someday I’ll be dead and maybe you’ll see the first gold and think of me". And what I wanted to tell you is that while I hope that day does not arrive for a long long time, I want you to know that even right now, you are a part of me in a way that means that I think about you every day, all the time, in many moments and maybe more often than you know.
Sometimes, when I should be thinking lofty work thoughts in meetings, I look down at my hands, and see your hands, and think "I got these hands from my mother". When someone asks me how to spell something, I always know how, and I know that I got that from you. When I hear that one of my friends is in therapy because she has no self confidence and doesn’t know how to get any, I think about how I am a strong self confident woman because I had a strong self confident mother who knew no other way to raise me, and I am so proud and so grateful for that. Not everyone gets that from their moms. Not everyone gets as lucky as I did.
When I am sick or tired and I wish I had someone to push my hair back behind my ear and sing me Irish lullabies, I am wishing for the you I remember from when I was a little girl. When I have my own children, I will do the same thing for them, and I will think of you. When I tell someone I love them, it is because you taught me how. Whenever I start something for the first time, I hear your voice in the back of my head saying "Give em hell". When I laugh at something no one else thinks is funny, sometimes for days, every time I remember it, I think "this, this I got from my mother". When I need courage, I think of you, and stick my chin out a little farther and do what has to be done. Whenever I meet a new person, and my natural shyness takes over, I stick out my hand anyway, because you taught me I had no other choice. When I run, I think of running with you around the dirt track of our tennis club and I hear your voice telling me to lengthen my strides when I run downhill. For the rest of my life, whenever I smell Chanel Number Five, just for a second, I’ll remember being seven years old and running into your arms at the end of a long day of school.
There are thousands upon thousands of moments like this in my life. Every day moments where I smile or laugh or draw courage or feel a little bit sad, and they are all moments when I am reminded of you. I want you to know now, so that you know it forever, that you have been the person in my life who I have most wanted to be like, who I hold up as my example in all things, who loved me best and first. You are the most amazing woman I know. I will always think of you; it would be impossible for me not to. We have been through my whole life together. There have been times when things seemed hopeless, but you never gave up, and I was never surprised. I knew you’d always be there for me, and that nothing was going to get the better of my mom. You are my role model, my motivation, and my most loyal ally. There could never be a time when I do not think of you, when I do not love you, when I do not think "how lucky am I, to have had such a woman in my life".
Happy Mother’s Day
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Elizabeth's Rules for Life, or Really Obvious Things I Learned the Hard Way
1. Don't wear flowered pants. Unless you WANT your ass to look like it's the size of France.
2. Never ask anyone when they're due.
3. Everyone loves presents. If your boyfriend is having problems committing and he needs a nudge in the right direction, it helps to buy him a guitar.
4. Reading makes you smarter, and a better speller.
5. If the swimsuit you have your eye on goes on sale at J Crew you better buy it right freaking then.
6. If you ever get a puppy, make sure you also have a house with wood floors.
7. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
8. Look at the way a man treats his mothers and his sisters if you want to know how he'll treat you.
9. You don't need to eat as much as you think you do.
10. Those red napkins from Crate and Barrel bleed in the wash. Mr. E, I didn't tell you this at the time, but I think that's totally what happened to your Nebraska sweatshirt.
11. If you give your husband little boxes to check off, he will totally do jobs around the house.
12. There's a lot of calories in most shit from Starbucks. A LOT.
13. Always write thank you notes.
14. No job is worth being miserable. GET OUT!
15. Diet dessert = crap
16. If your husband ever gets caught scratching his ass on the balcony of his hotel while smoking and talking on the phone, you should at least dock his allowance.
17. If you are a man and you wear a white shirt with a navy blue jacket and a navy blue tie you will look like a baptist preacher or an old old oldster.
18. Target has super cute jackets this spring, but their swimsuits = crap.
19. Denim should NEVER be worn with denim.
20. Never assume a plot when stupidity will explain the result. (I stole this one, and it's actually Orr's Rule #2, and most people don't really like it when you drop this into the middle of their conversation about why such and such bitch did such and such thing, so it has to be used sparingly. I love it, however. So simple, so clean, so true.)
21. Ashton Kutcher isn't as annoying in the movies as he is in "real life"
22. Take the stairs
23. I know it's bad for me, but I'll always think sunburns on girls are sexy.
24. Current Events. Pay attention to them. You're not the only thing going on in the world.
25. Change the sheets. You're not in college anymore and it's gross not to.
26. Sometimes you've just gotta crank up the music and dance, especially when your cat's favorite song (Whenever, Wherever - Shakira) comes on.
27. Nothing makes you feel sexier than sexy shoes and a good bra.
28. Eat more fruit.
29. Being a picky eater is boring.
30. The best kind of love is the kind you can't explain.
2. Never ask anyone when they're due.
3. Everyone loves presents. If your boyfriend is having problems committing and he needs a nudge in the right direction, it helps to buy him a guitar.
4. Reading makes you smarter, and a better speller.
5. If the swimsuit you have your eye on goes on sale at J Crew you better buy it right freaking then.
6. If you ever get a puppy, make sure you also have a house with wood floors.
7. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
8. Look at the way a man treats his mothers and his sisters if you want to know how he'll treat you.
9. You don't need to eat as much as you think you do.
10. Those red napkins from Crate and Barrel bleed in the wash. Mr. E, I didn't tell you this at the time, but I think that's totally what happened to your Nebraska sweatshirt.
11. If you give your husband little boxes to check off, he will totally do jobs around the house.
12. There's a lot of calories in most shit from Starbucks. A LOT.
13. Always write thank you notes.
14. No job is worth being miserable. GET OUT!
15. Diet dessert = crap
16. If your husband ever gets caught scratching his ass on the balcony of his hotel while smoking and talking on the phone, you should at least dock his allowance.
17. If you are a man and you wear a white shirt with a navy blue jacket and a navy blue tie you will look like a baptist preacher or an old old oldster.
18. Target has super cute jackets this spring, but their swimsuits = crap.
19. Denim should NEVER be worn with denim.
20. Never assume a plot when stupidity will explain the result. (I stole this one, and it's actually Orr's Rule #2, and most people don't really like it when you drop this into the middle of their conversation about why such and such bitch did such and such thing, so it has to be used sparingly. I love it, however. So simple, so clean, so true.)
21. Ashton Kutcher isn't as annoying in the movies as he is in "real life"
22. Take the stairs
23. I know it's bad for me, but I'll always think sunburns on girls are sexy.
24. Current Events. Pay attention to them. You're not the only thing going on in the world.
25. Change the sheets. You're not in college anymore and it's gross not to.
26. Sometimes you've just gotta crank up the music and dance, especially when your cat's favorite song (Whenever, Wherever - Shakira) comes on.
27. Nothing makes you feel sexier than sexy shoes and a good bra.
28. Eat more fruit.
29. Being a picky eater is boring.
30. The best kind of love is the kind you can't explain.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Holla back at the Dannon Light 'N' Fit with Fiber
Well, I guess it really holla'd back at me. I just did the biggest craziest stinkiest poo ever. Have you ever seen the movie Anaconda? Yeah, it was like that. I feel like a new woman. This morning Mr. E made the same claim shortly after spending some quality time getting his poo on, and I felt bitter. But now I'm right there with him. Awesome.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Graduation
Mr E and I just returned from a lovely adventure in the great state of Michigan.
Some of my favorite moments:
-getting a pedicure with my sister in law and not even caring that my toes looked better before, rather than after, the pedicure, just because the foot massage was that incredibly good
-sitting in the jacuzzi at my mother in law hotels for hours with a mike's lemonade in my hand gossiping with the four amazing women whos' family I am lucky enough to be a part of
-not getting hungover drunk on sangria at dominick's for the first time in my life (I switched off beer and water)
-not gaining any weight, woo hoo!
-blasting the Go Go's with the windows open driving down State Street on the way back from U of M's graduation
-having Mr. E's aunts tell me how great I looked
-dyeing my hair pink accidentally
-Miss Sarah "processing in" to graduation and noting that she had clearly been raised right, as she was 1. one of the only people NOT on a cell phone and 2. she was wearing sweat pant capris under her graduation gown. Anytime you can rock the sweatpant capris you should. Particularly when you find yourself graduating outside at 8:30 in the morning.
-ordering tapas by writing down everything we wanted on the paper tablecloth and thinking of my step dad the whole time
-Fitting into and wearing my new size eight J crew dress
-Realizing that no mattter what happened, AA wasn't our home anymore, and that was ok
-Mr. E yelling "Eat Me" at a spandex clad biker
-being told that my sister and brother in law stocked up on gin because they knew I was coming to town. Drinking said gin by the lake, from a mason jar
-Touching the ceiling of the hallway of the hotel over and over, just because I could. It was so low ceilinged that I felt like an extra in Being John Malkovitch
-Making fun of the speakers at the U of M graduation while freezing my ass off and eating chocolate chip cookies
-The Victoria's Secret underwear lying in the path to graduation that every parent had to step over
-The free airline tickets and sushi Northwest Airlines gave us for overselling our flight
-Business Class
-The super cute new jacket Mr E helped me pick out at Target that never would have fit before
-Sitting in a hotel room with 40 of Mr. E's family members furiously gossiping about his cousin's new girl friend.
-Seeing old friends and talking about old times
Some of my favorite moments:
-getting a pedicure with my sister in law and not even caring that my toes looked better before, rather than after, the pedicure, just because the foot massage was that incredibly good
-sitting in the jacuzzi at my mother in law hotels for hours with a mike's lemonade in my hand gossiping with the four amazing women whos' family I am lucky enough to be a part of
-not getting hungover drunk on sangria at dominick's for the first time in my life (I switched off beer and water)
-not gaining any weight, woo hoo!
-blasting the Go Go's with the windows open driving down State Street on the way back from U of M's graduation
-having Mr. E's aunts tell me how great I looked
-dyeing my hair pink accidentally
-Miss Sarah "processing in" to graduation and noting that she had clearly been raised right, as she was 1. one of the only people NOT on a cell phone and 2. she was wearing sweat pant capris under her graduation gown. Anytime you can rock the sweatpant capris you should. Particularly when you find yourself graduating outside at 8:30 in the morning.
-ordering tapas by writing down everything we wanted on the paper tablecloth and thinking of my step dad the whole time
-Fitting into and wearing my new size eight J crew dress
-Realizing that no mattter what happened, AA wasn't our home anymore, and that was ok
-Mr. E yelling "Eat Me" at a spandex clad biker
-being told that my sister and brother in law stocked up on gin because they knew I was coming to town. Drinking said gin by the lake, from a mason jar
-Touching the ceiling of the hallway of the hotel over and over, just because I could. It was so low ceilinged that I felt like an extra in Being John Malkovitch
-Making fun of the speakers at the U of M graduation while freezing my ass off and eating chocolate chip cookies
-The Victoria's Secret underwear lying in the path to graduation that every parent had to step over
-The free airline tickets and sushi Northwest Airlines gave us for overselling our flight
-Business Class
-The super cute new jacket Mr E helped me pick out at Target that never would have fit before
-Sitting in a hotel room with 40 of Mr. E's family members furiously gossiping about his cousin's new girl friend.
-Seeing old friends and talking about old times
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
I Don't Know Where I Belong
This weekend Mr. E and I are heading back to whence he came for his sister's college graduation. Being around his sisters always stresses me out. They are just so....perfect. I have a new dress and new shoes and new toenail polish and a new jacket and I know I will end up feeling like the nail polish is gaudily bright and wrong and my dress is too tight and my hair is too short and I'll get mustard or something on my jacket and all weekend I'll just feel short and fat and not as good. Most of the time I have really high self esteem, but there's certain people who I'm just not good at maintaining it around. I really wish I had managed to keep everything on track and lose some more weight, because never ever ever do I wish more to be skinny than when I am around Erik's family. It would have provided a very specific very needed sense of certainty. I could have said, to myself, "I am not fat. I am not a bad person. I am not ugly. After all, I just lost ten pounds." Instead my goal is to remember that this week can either be a gaining week, a loss week, or a maintenance week, and I am sick of maintenance. I want a loss, dammit. Which means I need to work really really hard, and not slack off. So far I have eaten one and a half donuts and not worked out at all. So things are off to a great start!
Monday, April 25, 2005
If I'm Going to Post Every Day Sometimes It's Just Going to Be Quotes I Like
When we walk to the end of all the light we have, and take a step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen: that we will land on something solid, or we will learn to fly.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Home
We just got back from seven days in Mexico.
The weird thing is, I'm happy to be back here.
It's so peaceful, and it's nice to see familiar friendly faces.
We have houseguests from out of town right now, so maybe after they're gone I'll sink into a pit of depression, but for now, I'm about as happy to be in Nebraska as I've ever been.
I make it sound like vacation wasn't awesome, which isn't true. It's just nice to be home, while at the same time feeling very tan and enjoying whatever residual relaxation I can.
Every time I travel , I think the same thing. I need to travel more. So that's my new goal. Save all my money and go on more trips.
Ok, well, I am tired of competing for the most boring post ever prize.
Later.
The weird thing is, I'm happy to be back here.
It's so peaceful, and it's nice to see familiar friendly faces.
We have houseguests from out of town right now, so maybe after they're gone I'll sink into a pit of depression, but for now, I'm about as happy to be in Nebraska as I've ever been.
I make it sound like vacation wasn't awesome, which isn't true. It's just nice to be home, while at the same time feeling very tan and enjoying whatever residual relaxation I can.
Every time I travel , I think the same thing. I need to travel more. So that's my new goal. Save all my money and go on more trips.
Ok, well, I am tired of competing for the most boring post ever prize.
Later.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Happy Birthday Mom!
I hope you have a good one and that you like the TV-B-Gone that I got you! Since it received an official mention from the New York Times I am sure you'll love it.
My mom's not an easy person to describe, and I'm not going to try today. But I'll leave you with two quotes, both of which I think in my mind will always pretty much say it better than I can myself.
"It is not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good writer. Charlotte was both."
–EB White, Charlotte’s Web
"Good writers borrow, Great writers steal" -stolen from TS Eliot, by My Mom.
My mom's not an easy person to describe, and I'm not going to try today. But I'll leave you with two quotes, both of which I think in my mind will always pretty much say it better than I can myself.
"It is not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good writer. Charlotte was both."
–EB White, Charlotte’s Web
"Good writers borrow, Great writers steal" -stolen from TS Eliot, by My Mom.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Nebraska and I, We're Both Moody Bitches
Yesterday it SNOWED here, and today it's sunny and 60 degrees.
Which is really annoying, because if I would have known it was going to be HOT (based on my lowered set of Midwestern standards) I could have worn way cuter shoes than the ones I'm wearing right now.
You would think I should have something better to blog about than the weather.
We'll, you'd be wrong. I live in NEBRASKA. The weather and cattle are like, the only things our state does.
I guess I could try to divulge some personal emotions about my life or whatever. Maybe let out my Heart Feelings (tm Mr. E's mom). I don't know if I'm quite ready for that, but I will say that I am going on vacay in six days and I am already pissed off about the fact that when I come return home, it will be to someplace I'd rather not be coming back to. My goal for next year's vacation is to be excited and happy to be coming home.
Which is really annoying, because if I would have known it was going to be HOT (based on my lowered set of Midwestern standards) I could have worn way cuter shoes than the ones I'm wearing right now.
You would think I should have something better to blog about than the weather.
We'll, you'd be wrong. I live in NEBRASKA. The weather and cattle are like, the only things our state does.
I guess I could try to divulge some personal emotions about my life or whatever. Maybe let out my Heart Feelings (tm Mr. E's mom). I don't know if I'm quite ready for that, but I will say that I am going on vacay in six days and I am already pissed off about the fact that when I come return home, it will be to someplace I'd rather not be coming back to. My goal for next year's vacation is to be excited and happy to be coming home.
Monday, March 21, 2005
We Screen for Felons and Married People.
-Tag Line from some dating web site that just caught my eye. To which I'd like to add:
We're Not THAT bad.
Elizabeth
We're Not THAT bad.
Elizabeth
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Recipe for disaster
It's always a good sign when you're so desperate for a drink that you'll settle for the (not so tasty) concoction of vodka, pellogrino, and lemon. Any vehicle to get the vodka into your bloodstream at this point!
Ah, visiting the parents.
Also, who has lime chutney pickle but no limes? Jesus.
Ah, visiting the parents.
Also, who has lime chutney pickle but no limes? Jesus.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
IN WHICH I USE THE CAPS LOCK WAY TOO MUCH
So yesterday, I was wearing my most cute, very gorgeous pointy toed Nine West camel colored heels that I got in San Fran for 17 dollars. Seventeen dollars everyone! Crazy. And so I decided that it was high time that I asked my lovely and talented and VERY coordinated friend Anna to show me how to walk in my heels. Anna's a dancer and shit, besides being very super awesome, and she totally showed me that MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE I HAVE BEEN WALKING WRONG. Seriously people. Did you get that? MY WHOLE LIFE I HAVE BEEN WALKING WRONG. And I am telling you, there have been people who have almost divorced me (Mr. E) because they think I walk to slow. But did they happen to mention that maybe it was because MY WHOLE LIFE I HAVE BEEN WALKING WRONG? Of course not! That would be too easy.
On the plus side, I am going to visit my mom this weekend, so now I can give her a lot of quality guilt treatments about how she never taught me to walk properly and how it has ruined my life and how that is why I am not famous and taller and generally how it is her fault that my life is so depressing and I live in Nebraska. And also I would like to add that this weekend when I called my step dad to remind him I was coming HE DID NOT KNOW WHO I WAS. Even when I told him my name. Lucky I called ahead of time. Jesus, people, don't lose your shit yet, I'm not ready to take care of ya'all right now!
On the plus side, I am going to visit my mom this weekend, so now I can give her a lot of quality guilt treatments about how she never taught me to walk properly and how it has ruined my life and how that is why I am not famous and taller and generally how it is her fault that my life is so depressing and I live in Nebraska. And also I would like to add that this weekend when I called my step dad to remind him I was coming HE DID NOT KNOW WHO I WAS. Even when I told him my name. Lucky I called ahead of time. Jesus, people, don't lose your shit yet, I'm not ready to take care of ya'all right now!
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
In Memoriam
Last night Mr. E's dad called his cell phone a bunch of times, and when Mr. E finally answered, he got up and went in the other room. I could tell it was something bad but I wasn't sure what it was about. Then Mr. E came back in the room and told me that his little dog Kelly was no longer with us. Kelly is the dog Mr. E and his whole family grew up with, she was a complete and utter part of the family, and I think Mr. E loved her in a way that maybe even I can't understand. When he would go home to visit he would always say that he was really going home to visit his dogs, and you would see him and Kelly together and know that there was just something special going on there between those two.
After his dad called, Mr. E and I both sat and cried about Kelly. I couldn't believe how sad I was, but there was just something about Kelly. She was just a one of a kind dog. You get lucky if you have one dog like her in your lifetime. Now all other dogs will always be compared to Kelly and will probably never measure up. She was just the smartest, coolest, nicest dog. I could tell that and I don't even like dogs. Mr. E's dad said that he never thought he would do such a thing, but he paid an exhorbitant sum of money and got Kelly's ashes. He thought she deserved it. I thought that was pretty cool.
Then I started in about how Jack from Little House on the Prairie died and Laura asked Pa if Jack was in dog heaven and Pa said yes and he was up there chasing rabbits, we both said Kelly was up in heaven rolling around in a field of Snickers, and then I just sobbed and I had to stop talking about Jack because that just makes me cry like nothing else. And Erik told all his favorite Kelly stories, like the time she ate some chocolate mice his mom had made, with maraschino cherries and hershey's kisses, but Kelly didn't eat the cherries, she just licked those clean and spit them back out, and that was the part they found.
Anyway, then Mr. E played sad music and I think he felt better, but I don't know. We didn't have ice cream so I could not apply the full treatment.
I do think he felt also better because he held little Annabelle on his lap the whole time and he kept saying she could tell that he felt bad, but let's face it, I think we both know she's not the dog Kelly was. Although give her time, she is still just a little puppy. And if it were not for her I can guarantee you we would have some newborn puppy right now named Kelly 2, so for that I am grateful.
Here's to you Kells, you were some dog. I hope you are having fun up there with all those Snickers, but we miss you.
After his dad called, Mr. E and I both sat and cried about Kelly. I couldn't believe how sad I was, but there was just something about Kelly. She was just a one of a kind dog. You get lucky if you have one dog like her in your lifetime. Now all other dogs will always be compared to Kelly and will probably never measure up. She was just the smartest, coolest, nicest dog. I could tell that and I don't even like dogs. Mr. E's dad said that he never thought he would do such a thing, but he paid an exhorbitant sum of money and got Kelly's ashes. He thought she deserved it. I thought that was pretty cool.
Then I started in about how Jack from Little House on the Prairie died and Laura asked Pa if Jack was in dog heaven and Pa said yes and he was up there chasing rabbits, we both said Kelly was up in heaven rolling around in a field of Snickers, and then I just sobbed and I had to stop talking about Jack because that just makes me cry like nothing else. And Erik told all his favorite Kelly stories, like the time she ate some chocolate mice his mom had made, with maraschino cherries and hershey's kisses, but Kelly didn't eat the cherries, she just licked those clean and spit them back out, and that was the part they found.
Anyway, then Mr. E played sad music and I think he felt better, but I don't know. We didn't have ice cream so I could not apply the full treatment.
I do think he felt also better because he held little Annabelle on his lap the whole time and he kept saying she could tell that he felt bad, but let's face it, I think we both know she's not the dog Kelly was. Although give her time, she is still just a little puppy. And if it were not for her I can guarantee you we would have some newborn puppy right now named Kelly 2, so for that I am grateful.
Here's to you Kells, you were some dog. I hope you are having fun up there with all those Snickers, but we miss you.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Everyone Needs A Goal
Right now, for those of you who don't know this, I am working very very very hard on losing 20 or 25 pounds. Over the past year and a half I lost 25 pounds and so this is the second half of what I want to lose to be at my goal weight of between 120-125 pounds. For my height this isn't crazy skinny or anything, but if I feel like I am losing too much I'll stop before then. However so far this hasn't been any sort of a problem as the last 25 pounds are refusing to budge. And I have to tell you it's really discouraging and incredibly frustrating to work so hard to lose and regain the same two pounds for months at a time. At this point I feel like I'm flying blind. All I can do is try harder. So starting RIGHT NOW I am going to renew my efforts. If the next three weeks don't bring some kind of loss, I'm going to have to do something else, as I think I'll be able to officially say that Plan A is not working. Until then, it's balls to the wall. So here are my rules/goals/official guidelines for the next three weeks.
1. NO FLEX POINTS
There is much debate about this in the WW community. But so far, I've been eating most of these, and I haven't been losing weight. Perhaps this is an extra 1500 calories I can't afford to eat and still lose weight. I wouldn't be surprised.
2. COUNT EVERY POINT
This means weighing everything, and basically no guessing at restaurant food or what 3 ounces of chicken is.
3. NO JUNK IN THE HOUSE
If I buy 2 pt mini snickers ice cream bars, I will eat them. If I buy a bag of baked cheetos, I will eat them. The whole bag. If I don't have them in the house, I can't eat them. I just simply do not have the will power to not do so. So basically, if it's not something I can afford to eat all of, I shouldn't bring it in the house.
4. NO EATING AFTER 8 PM.
This just seems like a good idea, and Oprah does it, and it will encourage me to work on my bad habit of not eating enough during the day in order to save up for eating too much later on.
5. WORK OUT SIX DAYS A WEEK
This can be anything, from running, to doing any kind of taped aerobics, to playing tennis, but I have to do it. This is my key, I believe, and it always makes me feel better, and it is changing my body, for the better, even if it's not making me lose weight.
6. MOON TIME
Plan ahead for my period. I have to stop using the excuse that I have to eat whatever I need to eat during this three or four day event. So I need some filling cereal, bars, and shakes or something I can take pills with, and I need to go back to the doctor for my pain meds.
7. VEGGIES
Keep a bin in the fridge with water and cut up veggies at all times. I need to get back to relying on fruit and veggies as my only snacks. This makes me want to snack less, and it reduces my reliance on "diet foods" that aren't actually helping anything, like reduced fat triscuits.
8. SOUP AND SALAD
I need to concentrate on having soup and salad at least four days a week. I have been really bad at both of these. These two things alone added into my food routine could make a big difference if they can become something I automatically go to instead of pasta or a bowl of cereal.
That's it, those are my goals. Wish me luck! Will report progress in three weeks.
1. NO FLEX POINTS
There is much debate about this in the WW community. But so far, I've been eating most of these, and I haven't been losing weight. Perhaps this is an extra 1500 calories I can't afford to eat and still lose weight. I wouldn't be surprised.
2. COUNT EVERY POINT
This means weighing everything, and basically no guessing at restaurant food or what 3 ounces of chicken is.
3. NO JUNK IN THE HOUSE
If I buy 2 pt mini snickers ice cream bars, I will eat them. If I buy a bag of baked cheetos, I will eat them. The whole bag. If I don't have them in the house, I can't eat them. I just simply do not have the will power to not do so. So basically, if it's not something I can afford to eat all of, I shouldn't bring it in the house.
4. NO EATING AFTER 8 PM.
This just seems like a good idea, and Oprah does it, and it will encourage me to work on my bad habit of not eating enough during the day in order to save up for eating too much later on.
5. WORK OUT SIX DAYS A WEEK
This can be anything, from running, to doing any kind of taped aerobics, to playing tennis, but I have to do it. This is my key, I believe, and it always makes me feel better, and it is changing my body, for the better, even if it's not making me lose weight.
6. MOON TIME
Plan ahead for my period. I have to stop using the excuse that I have to eat whatever I need to eat during this three or four day event. So I need some filling cereal, bars, and shakes or something I can take pills with, and I need to go back to the doctor for my pain meds.
7. VEGGIES
Keep a bin in the fridge with water and cut up veggies at all times. I need to get back to relying on fruit and veggies as my only snacks. This makes me want to snack less, and it reduces my reliance on "diet foods" that aren't actually helping anything, like reduced fat triscuits.
8. SOUP AND SALAD
I need to concentrate on having soup and salad at least four days a week. I have been really bad at both of these. These two things alone added into my food routine could make a big difference if they can become something I automatically go to instead of pasta or a bowl of cereal.
That's it, those are my goals. Wish me luck! Will report progress in three weeks.
Monday, March 07, 2005
Cheeseburger in Paradise
I've been in a crabby mood all day, and not even the BLT I inhaled for dinner could snap me out of it. And when you have a problem bacon can't fix, well, you know it's a bad one. Bacon should be able to fix anything.
In a totally unrelated matter, whenever I eat a BLT, it reminds me of the summer I spent visiting my grandparents in Vermont, the summer before I started high school. It was one of the best summers of my life, because I spent the whole time getting to know one of my best friends, my cousin J. She's so much like me it kind of freaks me out sometimes. There's something about knowing someone so cool who's so much like me that always makes me proud. But before I knew how we'd end up being so close, and how she'd be the MOH in my wedding, and how she's singlehandedly get me through every major crisis of my "adult" life by listening and understanding no matter what, well, before then I found her pretty damned intimidating. It was nice to spend a summer learning that well, yes, while she was intimidating, because she could take the train by herself and use her mom's credit card to buy red shoes and watched General Hospital, but that she was also such a cool funny kick ass person. I always felt sad that before my Grandma died I didn't remember to tell her thanks, for giving me that summer with my cousin, and thus one of my most valued friendships. And also, for all the BLT's. Every time my grandparents took us out to dinner, it was to Howard Johnson's, and I always ordered a BLT, and J always ordered a cheeseburger. Every single time.
I miss those days.
In a totally unrelated matter, whenever I eat a BLT, it reminds me of the summer I spent visiting my grandparents in Vermont, the summer before I started high school. It was one of the best summers of my life, because I spent the whole time getting to know one of my best friends, my cousin J. She's so much like me it kind of freaks me out sometimes. There's something about knowing someone so cool who's so much like me that always makes me proud. But before I knew how we'd end up being so close, and how she'd be the MOH in my wedding, and how she's singlehandedly get me through every major crisis of my "adult" life by listening and understanding no matter what, well, before then I found her pretty damned intimidating. It was nice to spend a summer learning that well, yes, while she was intimidating, because she could take the train by herself and use her mom's credit card to buy red shoes and watched General Hospital, but that she was also such a cool funny kick ass person. I always felt sad that before my Grandma died I didn't remember to tell her thanks, for giving me that summer with my cousin, and thus one of my most valued friendships. And also, for all the BLT's. Every time my grandparents took us out to dinner, it was to Howard Johnson's, and I always ordered a BLT, and J always ordered a cheeseburger. Every single time.
I miss those days.
Friday, March 04, 2005
Friday Sucky Check In
So, no loss today, which SUCKS, and I am super hungry, and I just found out I have to go to a staff meeting I really don't want to go to as it's going to SUCK, and my knees hurt from working out so much even though I never lose weight so I don't know why I bother which super SUCKS, and new J Crew cashmere cardigan is covered with SUCKY SUCKY pills, and there aren't any movies out this weekend that don't SUCK, and I just opened a new bank account which they refuse to give me the account number for even though they have $100 of my money which SUCKS and btw why does everyone keep trying to get me to stay in Nebraska when it SUCKS so bad here?
However, I am wearing VERY cute shoes today. Which don't suck at all.
However, I am wearing VERY cute shoes today. Which don't suck at all.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
I will turn that dryer on as high as it goes because I can.
The other day Mr. E and I were standing in the laundromat growing increasingly irritable over the obvious suck of time and money involved in getting our clothes only marginally clean, when he looked over at me, read my mind, and said "let's buy a washer and dryer". I told him if he found one, and figured out how to pay for it, and got it into the house, I would totally do all his laundry, forever. Which sounds crazy, but really, actually, I love to laundry. LOVE IT. A washing machine is like crack cocaine to an anal retentive cleaner such as myself. And without one, I was not fulfilling my true anal retentive destiny. Anyway, we totally couldn't actually afford it, but that's what credit cards are for. And besides, I bargained them into delivering it for free, so at least I can tell myself we got a good deal, even though I am sure we didn't, as we are naive babies when it comes to the world of bargaining for used household appliances. Which, hello? Algebra class? Could I not have learning some useful skills during that time? Like maybe how to walk in really high heels or how to bargain for washing machines? Yeah, thanks for wasting thousands of hours of my life on Tuesday mornings from 8:15 am to 9 am, algebra, you bastard.
Here's someone who said it much better than I ever could...
For some reason this poem always reminds me of my mom.
Who also loves to do laundry, and has tons of awesome rules about it that we used to get in these huge fights about. And now I can break them with my own washing machine! Awesome.
SORTING LAUNDRY
Folding clothes,
I think of folding youinto my life.
Our king sized sheets
like table cloths for the banquets of giants,
pillow cases, despite so many washings
seams still holding our dreams.
Towels patterned orange and green,
flowered pink and lavender,
gaudy, bought on sale,reserved,
we said, for the beach,
refusing, even after years,
to bleach into respectability.
So many shirts and skirts and pants
recycling week after week, head over heels
recapitulating themselves.
All those wrinkles to be smoothed, or else
ignored, they're in style.
Myriad uncoupled socks
which went paired into the foamlike those creatures in the ark.
And what's shrunkis tough to discard
even for Goodwill.
In pockets, surprises: forgotten matches,
lost screws clinking on enamel;
paper clips, whatever they held
between shiny jaws, now dissolved or clogging the drain;
well washed dollars, legal tender for all debts public and private,
intact despite agitation;
and, gleaming in the maelstrom,
one bright dime,
broken necklace of good gold
you brought from Kuwait,
the strangely tailored shirt left by a former lover...
If you were to leave me,
if I were to fold only my own clothes,
the convexes and concaves
of my blouses, panties, stockings, bras
turned upon themselves,
a mountain of unsorted wash
could not fillthe empty side of the bed.
-Elisavietta Ritchie
Here's someone who said it much better than I ever could...
For some reason this poem always reminds me of my mom.
Who also loves to do laundry, and has tons of awesome rules about it that we used to get in these huge fights about. And now I can break them with my own washing machine! Awesome.
SORTING LAUNDRY
Folding clothes,
I think of folding youinto my life.
Our king sized sheets
like table cloths for the banquets of giants,
pillow cases, despite so many washings
seams still holding our dreams.
Towels patterned orange and green,
flowered pink and lavender,
gaudy, bought on sale,reserved,
we said, for the beach,
refusing, even after years,
to bleach into respectability.
So many shirts and skirts and pants
recycling week after week, head over heels
recapitulating themselves.
All those wrinkles to be smoothed, or else
ignored, they're in style.
Myriad uncoupled socks
which went paired into the foamlike those creatures in the ark.
And what's shrunkis tough to discard
even for Goodwill.
In pockets, surprises: forgotten matches,
lost screws clinking on enamel;
paper clips, whatever they held
between shiny jaws, now dissolved or clogging the drain;
well washed dollars, legal tender for all debts public and private,
intact despite agitation;
and, gleaming in the maelstrom,
one bright dime,
broken necklace of good gold
you brought from Kuwait,
the strangely tailored shirt left by a former lover...
If you were to leave me,
if I were to fold only my own clothes,
the convexes and concaves
of my blouses, panties, stockings, bras
turned upon themselves,
a mountain of unsorted wash
could not fillthe empty side of the bed.
-Elisavietta Ritchie
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