Monday, July 25, 2005

Favorite Books List

I've been reading a lot of stuff lately in the blog world about favorite books, etc, and I realized that I needed one spot where I could write down all my faves and my recommendations because I have the world's worst memory and I can never remember all of them. Even still this won't be a very complete list but here's what I've come up with so far:
(Disclaimer: a lot of these are "kids books", since those are and always will be some of favorite books of all time)

Jane Eyre
The Saturdays, Elizabeth Enright
The Shoes Books
Careless Love, The Unmaking of Elvis Presley
Children of the River
First they Killed My Father
Angus, Thongs, and Full Front Snogging
Nickel and Dimed
A Tale of Time City
Dangerous Angels, Francesca Lia Block
Hard Love
Skipped Parts, Social Blunders, Sorrow Floats, all by Tim Sandlin
Catcher in the Rye
The Great Gatsby
Sloppy Firsts
Second Helpings
Anne of Green Gables, etc.
Little House Books
Betsy Tacy and Tib Books
Cheaper by the Dozen
There Are No Children Here
The Only Alien on the Planet
any book by Sarah Dessen
Walk Two Moons
Charlotte's Web
Stuart Little
The Trumpet of the Swan
Caddie Woodlawn
The Sun Also Rises
Little Women
Gone With the Wind
Brideshead Revisited
Goodbye Columbus
A Tree Grows In Brooklyn
The Bell Jar
All of A Kind Family

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Fashionista Freak Out

Life requires special outfits, in my opinion. It just does. Sure, you could play tennis in old Michigan basketball shorts and a tank top you bought in the little girls section at Old Navy three years ago, but it's just not gonna be the same as striding onto the court wearing a sassy navy and white tennis dress that shows off your perfect tan AND that can hold balls in the built in underwear. You gotta get the tennis dress, or the new strapless dress for your best friends wedding, or that hot brown bikini you've been wanting for three months that goes on sale right before you go to mexico. You just can't wear your old speedo on vacation!

And most of the time I pretend I'm not American Eagle's bitch and I just wear what I like. Although I find myself with weird clothing cravings that must be implanted into my brain at night by aliens, or Teen People or Jessica Simpson's dad or something. This spring I just had to have a gauzy green skirt. Three days later everyone else had one too. Weird. My most sincere hope is that somehow most of the time I have a style that is uniquely me and which doesn't just yell out "messy"! I once knew this girl that I hated for a long time and then she told me that I always had cute clothes and in my mind right at that moment I forgave for every wrong, ever, right there on the spot. The point is that overally I'm usually pretty happy with what I've cobbled together from the sale rack at the Gap and Ebay or whatever.

But then we went camping with Mr. E's sisters a few weeks ago and I realized I just don't own anywhere NEAR enough tank tops and my jeans are totally uncool and why don't I have Jessica Simpson headscarves and huge sunglasses and a tan the color of toasted almonds? I felt an overwhelming desire to buy yoga sweatpants and fleece jackets. My fashions were inadequate.

Next week we're going to New York City, the fashion Big Time, and I am only too aware that my closet is not up to the task. It's made worse by the fact that Mr. E's super cool freakishly trendy and up to the minute girl friends will be there. I am sure that one of them will be wearing a t shirt with a robot barfing on a dog or something with some jeans made of barbed wire or god knows what. Although she is the girl who tried to get me to read David Sedaris ten years after everyone else had discovered him, and I also take some satisfaction in knowing that at our wedding Mr. E made her wear what all the other bridesmaids were wearing even though she didn't want too because she was just TOO skinny to wear that and the best part is that by the way he also called her a sweater monkey. Awesome.

The point is that I have compiled a list.

What Every Reasonable Person Can Expect to Bring on A Trip to New York City in order to not look like a lamer Tourist from Nebraska or Other Midwestern States:

-one pair of cool black pants (don't have, am afraid may be hopeless, will hope for Target miracle)
-hot new jeans (don't have and won't be buying till reach goal weight as reward/threat to prevent getting fat again, will have to make do with sub par stretch American Eagle jeans).
-slutty yet classy black shirt (don't have, will obtain, thank you Anthropologie sale)
-one black cami with bra in it (don't have, will atttempt to obtain, curses to all stores who only carried this one item when I was fat and couldn't wear it and now are all "huh? What is this cami with bra you speak of?")
-one black tight ribbed tank top (don't have, will obtain)

it's not looking good on the jeans or pants front but will hope for Miracle of the Black Pants. Is too late to hope for Miracle of $25 Ebay Citizens of Humanity Jeans.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Bye bye Fat Girl

I am 11 pounds from my goal weight.
It has taken me forever to get here. And it has been incredibly hard work. It has been confusing and stressful and depressing and demeaning. I screamed and cried and raged, all about how it was too hard and no one could expect me to do this and it wasn't working.
But I sucked it up, and I worked harder. Harder than I ever thought I could. Harder than I thought I should have had to. I worked when I thought it wasn't fair, and I couldn't do it.

And it was all worth it.

Because somewhere back there in my past is a girl who couldn't run for a even minute, who felt embarrassed by the size of her ass and the number on a tag at Old Navy, a girl who felt overly full and sick after every meal she ate, who would try to change the subject every time someone talked about size or diets, who thought eating a whole box of reduced fat triscuits was healthy, who ate dinner every night in front of the tv and who didn't have time for exercise, a girl who though that the people at J Crew were just bitches who didn't make clothes in her size. And you know what?

I don't miss that girl.

I hope she never comes back.

Right now I'm running away from her as fast as I can.

Sometime soon I'm gonna have to stop running and get to know the new me, Not Fat Girl. We're gonna be together for a long time. I think I'm gonna like her better. I'm working on loving her, but we're not there yet.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Big Love

Two years ago today Mr. E and I were getting married. Right now! How crazy that was.
It seems like it's been forever and at the same time it seems like barely any time has gone by. I still remember how happy I was on that day and yet I'm even happier today. I might not like living in Nebraska but I can honestly say that to be with my soulmate it's all worth it.

I've always agreed that it's pointless to talk about love. If you are really in love it's so profound you can't describe it worth a damn anyway. But to Mr. E I would like to say:
I love you more than I ever thought possible. More than the French Maid loves Batman, more than Samantha loves Jake Ryan, more than Jaws loves to eat people, more than Ben loves Matt, more than Romy loves Michelle. Maybe even more than...gasp...Tom Cruise loves Katie Holmes.
Now that's some big love.

Happy Anniversary Petsy.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005


We just got back from Fourth of July weekend and I felt really pissed off to be at work. I just wasn't in the mood. Of course I think I am about to have my moon time so that could be the reason everyone was irritating the shit out of me, but whatever, this weekend was NOT relaxing. During the last 20 minutes of the day one of my co workers had a loud and annoying phone conversation in which she stated "Karl Rove is a genius" at least four times. Yeah, a genius or SATAN, I can't decide either.

The point is that Mr. E both decided "oh fuck it" and in a rare mood of spontaneity not often seen in our household other than in the sale shoe area in Target, we are going on a vacation this week! Woo hoo! We cashed in our chips (metaphorically, in actuallity they were our vouchers on NW that we got for giving up our seats) and we will be joining Mr. E and his family on a camping trip in the wild blue wonder. Woo hoo! I could not be more excited. I hope that doesn't mean I will be disappointed.

In other news, that means I only have two days to pack and also to lose five pounds. Maybe if I could actually do number two every once in a while that would help. Note to intestines "POO!". Thank you.

Boringly enough, I will now make a list of things I should remember on my camping trip, otherwise known as Operation Delicate Balance, Or How Not to Get Fat OR Crabby on Family Camping trips:

-Running stuff including IPOD, headphones, shoes, washcloths, socks, shorts, sports bra, and tank top.
-Instant oatmeal
-Coffee and travel french press?
-some kind of oatmeal or pria bars
-peanut m and m's
-beef jerkey?
-cheerios or some other snack like that
-cheese sticks

I should be fine. I just need to remember that I live and die by my morning and afternoon snack.

Friday, July 01, 2005

If they're so famous how come I can never find them?

We're going to a barbeque for the 4th and I promised to make my delicious Fourth of July cake. This is really nothing more than icebox whipped cream cake with blueberries and raspberries on it, but it's truly awesome and delicious, unless of course someone accidentally spills soy sauce on it, even though you know it wasn't really an accident because secretly your mom just couldn't handle the thought of all the whipped cream and chocolate being unleashed on an innocent and unsuspecting world, but the good news is soy sauce can totally be wiped off whipped cream, ya'all.

The real trick is finding the goddamed chocolate cookies, and they are totally the kind of food that you are always seeing in the grocery store and making mental notes to remember that they are totally in the ice cream aisle and then when you promise someone you will make the cake and go to the ice cream aisle they are totally not there. Then you spend the next three days wandering up and down random grocery store aisles muttering "famous yellow box" under your breath and swearing. Weeks later they will magically reappear and remain in plain sight until you need them again.

But the Fourth of July just isn't the Fourth of July without red white and blue cake, and I've been down the jello flag cake road before and it's not one I intend on ever going down again. If I have to spend all weekend finding those damn cookies, well, then that's just what it takes.
Meanwhile, where the fuck are they? I know I've seen those bastards all over town...