Tuesday, January 09, 2007

State of the Boobdom

I actually really enjoyed breastfeeding class. They gave us plastic dolls to practise with and I only wacked the baby's head on the table once. Although those dolls should come with a warning label for first time moms:

Attention: Please do not freak out. You will not have to push anything this large out of your hoo hoo. If you do we will be sure to give you copious drugs.

Because how would I know? I don't know what a newborn baby looks like and that enormous plastic doll had me a little freaked out, I won't lie. Mr. E reassured me though, it won't be anywhere near that large. And also babies LIKE it when you wack their heads on the table. So it's lucky that I am already so good at that part of it.

People have strong reactions to hearing that breastfeeding makes me a little nervous. My mom thinks it's ridiculous that anyone would be worried about it because she thought it was "so great". My mother in law thinks a nursing stool is the weirdest thing she's ever heard of..."we never had those..." Friends of mine have loved it, hated it, or merely stuck it out as long as they could. I'm not really in any of these camps yet, I'm just trying to keep an open mind and not get too weirded out by it all, but I am really glad I took a class. It's nothing complicated, situating the baby and all that, but I think if you had never seen it done, it might be hard to figure out on your own. So yes, class was good. Very nonjudgemental, very cool. They even told you what to do if you just HAD to smoke while you were breastfeeding. Not that I plan to do that, of course, but I thought it was cool that they were like "Uh, dude, I live in the real world too, and if you just HAVE to smoke, although you really shouldn't, here's what to do so you can still breastfeed."

Also, pursuant to Number #13 in my previous post, we ALSO have a special DAD diaper bag, yes we do! (Like I would let Mr. E near the Kate Spade.) It's called the Diaper Dude - it was a super cool shower gift from our friend Sarah. I have heard Brad Pitt uses the Diaper Dude, and if that's not a recommendation, I don't know what is. I almost bought something last week called a "Miracle Blanket" based solely on the fact that Heath Ledger apparently has one, even though I don't know what the hell it is, or why I would need it, or what about it is so miraculous that it needs to cost $29.99.


sarah said...

I want an adult-sized Miracle Blanket. I want it to make me sleep nonstop for eight hours and wake up five pounds lighter. Now THAT would be a miracle.

Tasty said...

You are cracking me straight UP! I'll be back.