Tuesday, October 17, 2006

I Can't Stop

I worry that the baby will be cold.

I worry that no one will give us anything for the baby and we won't be able to afford to buy it the things it needs.

I worry that I am gaining too much weight.

I worry that I watch too much tv.

I worry that Mr. E isn't happy and he secretly resents me for making him move here away from his family and that he hates his job and he hates me for not having one and for making us poor.

I worry that I'm eating all the wrong things.

I worry that Netflix is a waste of money because we never watch our movies.

I worry that the baby kicks too much. And I worry that it doesn't kick enough.

I worry that I won't be a good mom.

I worry that we don't have any blankets for the baby.

I worry that our dog wil never calm the fuck down and I won't be able to deal with having her around a baby.

I worry that the baby will be huge.
I worry that the baby will be tiny.

I worry that my doctor hates me.

I worry that Mr. E likes our dog a little bit more than he likes me.

I worry that being pregnant has made me cranky and everyone is talking about it behind my back.

I worry that there are obvious answers to all my problems that I am too lazy or stupid or scared to figure out.

I worry that I have forgotten to write someone a thank you note.

I worry that it's rude to ask people to come to a shower and give us stuff.

I worry that airline tickets will never go down in price.

I worry that I am not doing enough around the house.

I worry that I am addicted to the internet.

I worry that I am losing my old life.

I worry that being pregnant makes me look fat.

I worry that I am not trying hard enough to eat the right things because I do not eat organic and I do not eat hormone free meat and I am not eating a macrobiotic raw diet with no hormones or dyes.

I worry because I forget to take my vitamins and I never wash my fruit.

I worry because I have nothing to say. Shouldn't there be more going on in my life? Shouldn't I be able to spin fun stories out of nothing?

I worry that I'm not any fun.

I worry that I waited too late to have children.

I worry that I am turning ugly.

I worry that Mr. E is mad at me for getting a pedicure on Friday.

I worry that the crib will never be done. I worry that the nursery will never done. I worry because I know Mr. E doesn't want to hear about it anymore and he wants me to stop worrying.

I worry that the baby will come early.

I worry that we are too far from our families.

I worry that I am not planning enough for the future.

I worry that nothing will ever fix the inside of my head and even if we have seven hundred blankets and the nursery is done and the baby comes out perfect on the perfect day and Mr. E is happy and life is perfect I will still find something to worry about.


ee said...

Well, I'm surprised after all of that you don't worry that you'll get warts.

Get it? Worry Wart?

Yeah, that's right...

Anonymous said...

Worrying solves nothing. So decide if each thing you're worried about is worth the mental energy you're spending on it. If not, fuck it. If so, do something about it. I have what I call the "Three Bitch Rule" and it goes something like this: I can bitch about something three times before I either have to do something about it or shut the fuck up. Those are my choices; ongoing complaining is not an option. I would imagine a similar rule could be applied to worrying.