Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Christmas Blah

I think Christmas is starting to get to me. My to do list never gets any shorter. And every year I think this will be the year that I start shopping in October and finish before Thanksgiving, and it never happens. This year I gave myself permission to NOT make sugar cookies and NOT have a tree and NOT send Christmas cards. We don't have a tree, thank god, but last night I spent hours making Christmas cards and it sucked and it's not even half done and now I need more stamps and oh my god cutting vellum is horrible. I'm going to try to finish that tonight. In my imaginary "I love Christmas world" I pictured myself basking in a holiday glow while cherrily and lovingly assembling Christmas cards, thinking happy thoughts about those I was sending them to, while humming "white christmas" under my breath and drinking a steaming mug of hot cocoa. In reality I drank half of a light Rolling Rock, swore at the cat and my friends who insist on moving every five days and don't give me their new addresses, and cursed vellum to high heaven, and since we only have basic cable I was forced to watch this super super creepy episode of Seventh Heaven where one of the kids is in mad trouble for having sex, like, BEFORE MARRIAGE. He was clearly doomed to hell and it was super traumatic and awful. His parents are such cretans! I guess they are really just characters on a tv show, so the writers are cretans. I hope never again to hear the expression "more than the average relationship with Christ" in this lifetime. Then I watched the Home Shopping Network for hours just so there wasn't dead silence, and I must say, I think Suzanne Somers might not be all there. But I bet she's super rich, due to her selling boodles of butt ugly jewelry and some weird fake sugar product. Freaky.
Mr. E is going to get back from his conference and find a little ball of hysterical stress where his wife once was. The thing is, I do this to myself. As if I needed to MAKE Christmas cards! Why could I not just BUY Christmas cards, like the rest of the world? I must love stress. That's the only thing I can conclude.
At the very least, I hope I look back on this week and congratulate myself on how much I accomplished on my to do list. I don't think anyone else is going to even realize it, much less give me any kind of kudos. FYI, I hate the word Kudos, because it reminds me of the gross candy bar/granola bar. Which is it, anyway? Decide, you Kudos freaks.
Meanwhile, I thought I would post my to do list, so I can get a mental handle on it.

So here it is...Ms. E's crazy crazy over achieving neurotic to do list:
-Finish Xmas cards and take and post pics
-buy more stamps
-mail out Ebay crap
-buy boxes and ribbon at Walgreens since the boxes I bought there yesterday are awful!
-mail presents
-get addresses
- work
-clean bathroom
-give myself a pedicure during Gilmore Girls
-deposit money order
-take pics, write descriptions, and post crap on Ebay
-start my ebay store? Or post purses on buy it now.
-Finish sil's purse. (might help if I started it).
-Balance checkbook
-take pic next to red hot dogs (eeeew!)
-frost work cupcakes
-make pins

And that's it, until I think of more! Jesus.

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