Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Not Cool

Yesterday I finally forced myself to start sorting through all the crap in our garage - the crap we shouldn't have moved here and don't want, but can't get rid of because when we look at it a quick mental assessment reveals that collectively we spent about seven frillion dollars on said crap over the past few years and if we just go and throw it all out then it's official - we're the two stupidest money wasting stupids in the universe. VHS tape of "Cold As Ice" starring Vanilla Ice? Check. Pair of decorate and useless dutch wooden shoes? Check. Lamp I stole from Mr. E's Grandmother's house and now hate, but can't get rid of because hi, I STOLE IT FROM HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE AND NOW I WANT TO THROW IT OUT? Sigh. I'm not a good person.

Anyway, it's not a super fun job, by any stretch of the imagination, and when I was moving the bed rails of the worlds crappiest bed that I can't use because it's broken but can't get rid of because maybe maybe maybe West Elm will take pity on me and heed my strongly worded letter and give me back my money for the worlds crappiest bed, um, underneath the bed rails that I picked up and moved, there was a SCORPION. A SCORPION.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

I'm not an anti bug person, but yikes. I draw the line at scorpions.

Two days later, said scorpion is still under a glass in my garage. Probably sending out homing beacons to all his scorpion friends.

Not a lot of garage cleaning has gone on since.

4 comments:

randomfatgirl said...

SCORPION...GAH!!!!! I do hate bugs, but the scorpion is by far one of the worst!! Check this out...when I was living at home with my parents their house was (and is) in the middle of 7 acres of woods with about 30 more acres of woods adjoining...scorpions love the woods. So, one Saturday morning I woke up and opened my eyes and there on the pillow next to my head was...yep, you guessed it, a SCORPION! It was black and smallish and thank gooness didn't have it's tail up for attack...well, until I jumped up and screamed and grabbed a shoe. Horrifying stuff though. I recommend fumigation. :)

sarah said...

Mr. E. said he was going to "gas it," but I'm guessing that hasn't happened yet?

Whatever happens, take a picture of the beast for posterity.

I freak out over tiny spiders. Oh, and bats in the house. That's where I draw the line. Bats do not belong in my bedroom at 5:00 in the morning.

Hope you're staying cool (temperature-wise).

Jessi said...

What color was the scorpion?

Tom and I just spent 8 nights camping in the Grand Canyon, and on morning 3, as we were packing up our camping gear, a little orange scorpion crawled out from under his ground pad. Not as bad as on the pillow next to our head, but still - Yikes!

WifeMomChocoholic said...

LOL -- I almost bought wooden shoes when I was in Holland (MI). So useful...