Monday, September 19, 2005

I don't know what my problem is. I'm driving myself nuts craving baked goods. Currently I'm obsessing about chocolate cheesecake, pumpkin chocolate spice cupcakes, chocolate muffins, brownies, and blueberry muffins. The really scary thing is that it isn't even close to moon time, so I can't blame that. It must be the fall weather.

I'm not sure how to cope with this. It's driving me nuts because I can't stop thinking about food. I think about food and what I can't eat from about 3 in the afternoon until the time I go to bed at night, at 11 pm. Dinner doesn't alleviate my obsessions, because I don't want to eat chicken and salad and green beans. I want to eat chocolate pumpkin cupcakes!

What I'm going to try to do is to really think it through. To plan a realistic approach. To be brutally honest with myself and what the consequences of letting myself fuck up would be. For example, I'm not making cheesecake because it's expensive and I don't even like cheesecake that much. I'll make pumpkin spice muffins for our Halloween party, next month. I won't make brownies tonight because I wouldn't trust myself around a pan of brownies right now. I really really really want to lose this week. I need to be honest with myself and acknowledge that making brownies right now means I probably wouldn't have a loss on Friday.

What I will do is make fat free blueberry muffins for my office on Wednesday. I might make pumpkin muffins instead. And I'll eat one or two with some nice caffeine free tea and try to move on.

Depending on how my knees feel, I might try to do other forms of cardio on Monday and Friday. Right now I am running five days a week. So I only have two break days, and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be doing NOTHING on those days, or if I should be doing other exercise. I suppose weight lifting couldn't hurt. It's really hard to eat only 20 pts on the two days I don't get activity points, I'll tell you that.

Off to move the weightlifting DVD to the top of my Netflix queue...

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